Actual five year olds
Loki banged his head against the steering wheel. The Avengers, now all small children strapped into the seats of the van he’d stolen, were screeching and fighting like wild beasts behind him.
“This was a terrible idea. The worst idea I’ve ever had.” It had seemed like such a wonderful idea at three in the morning. Turn The Avengers into small children and kidnap them and then… maybe drive them off a cliff or into a large body of water. He hadn’t really thought that far yet.
Clint screamed from the very back of the van as Natasha bit his arm. “NATASHA KEEPS BITING ME.”
“HE KEEPS PULLING MY HAIR!” Natasha countered, balling her tiny fist and punching Clint in the temple.
“Shut. Up.” Loki beat his fists the steering wheel. “Norns help me.”
“I’m not touching yoooouuuu.” Tony reached across Steve, sandwiched between him and Thor, his finger hovering over Thor’s shoulder.
Thor glared at him, baring his teeth and releasing a pathetically small growl. Steve grabbed Tony’s arm and tried to pull it away. “Tony, stop it.”
“Do not touch me,” Thor warned,
Tony laughed, ignoring Steve and leaning closer. “I’m not touching you.”
“BROTHER! Tony is touching me!”
Loki groaned. “I want to die.” Another car pulled in front of him suddenly, forcing him to slam the brakes and startle everyone. There was more screeching and crying and Tony took his chance, punching Thor in the arm and setting off a chain reaction. Thor had pounced out of his seat, climbing over Steve to get to Tony, accidentally kicking Bruce, who had been quietly looking out the window, and knocked his over-sized glasses off.
Loki looked in the rearview mirror right then and saw pale little hands turn in to green fists and decided in that moment that, yes, he really was cursed.
This is the most perfect perfect to ever perfect
whaht if i used peanut butter as fake tan
what do you mena it looks like i smothered peanut butter all over my amrs it took me two wekes in spain to get this golden
you could at least use smooth peanut butter i mean really
i’ll kepe that in mind for hthe next time i covee r myself in peanut butter
do you ever look at somebody and wonder how they moan during sex
no but thanks now i have a new habit forced upon me whenever i go out
i think about this post at the most inappropriate times and it has ruined my life
I don’t think Sam will approve
CW obviously didn’t think this through. It was probably decided in the heat of the moment.
oh my god
The references in one post